The most important element in relationship counseling is honesty.
It´s not just about being honest relative to what happens – it´s about how each partner feels.
Often communication issues spring from the belief that “If only he/she would change to meet my needs, then I would be happy.”
The goal in therapy is to get past the role that society has placed each partner in, to get past the concepts of right and wrong and good and bad – to the authentic issues in the relationship. Relationships that are based on fixed roles that each partner is “required” to fill are limiting and often create a sense of being trapped. A supportive, loving relationship can only be accomplished when each partner respects and honors the other´s process. Relationships that are based on love and respect can allow partners to grow and expand into the beings each can become.
The archetype of marriage / relationships has changed greatly from what it was a few decades ago. Men and women have evolved from needing each other for the basic survival needs. Today, partners are “mirrors” for each other that can support their emotional and spiritual growth. This is the formula for successful relationships.
Helping couples to transcend roles and the pressure of society is part of my role as a therapist.
Within the therapeutic process, it is the task of all people to examine the matrix of their families of origin, to make conscious choices about which belief systems are useful to their current lives, and to shed beliefs that are no longer useful.